Korean Foodie Diary: Korean Drinks

In Korea, I expected to eat a lot of weird things and I certainly have - soondae, chicken gizzards, octopus just to name a few.  But I have to say that the variety of drinks I've had are the strangest.  One of my one on one students often brings me a cold drink during class so I've gotten to try all sorts of things.  Here are some of the most unique drinks I've gotten to try....who knew Korean people would make drinks out of these things??

1. 식혜 (Pronounced like "Shik-hye) - Korean Rice Punch


What's in it? : malt powder (barley)white rice, ginger, pine nuts, sugar, water
Health benefits: digestion, blood circulatin
Caitlin's rating: What don't Korean people make out of rice, seriously?? Although the rice cake wins as my favorite thing made out of rice, this drink is decent.  It's sweet and nice to drink after spicy food but super awkward to drink.  I feel like I'll choke on the rice in the liquid.

2. Ginseng drink



What's in it: Ginseng (sometimes an actual root in it), water, honey
Health Benefits: Similar to caffiene benefits - improving the digestion, Aiding in respiration, Rejuvenating the body, Lessening physical and mental stress, Counteracting, Strengthening the immune system
Caitlin's rating: I don't care how good ginseng is for you and how scientifically proven it has been.  This drink is really disgusting.  Reviewers call the taste like "dirt" and I don't disagree. It's like something trying to be sweet but is bitter and dry with a funky after taste.  If you want to try something delicious with ginseng, I highly suggest Samgyetung (Chicken ginseng soup).

3. Aloe Juice



What's in it: Water, aloe vera gel powder, aloe vera gel, honey, ructose, sugar, citric acid
Health Benefits: natural detox, digestion, anti-oxidants, Collagen and Elastin repair for healthy skin, Nautral Immune support
Caitlin's rating: When my student brought me this, I gave him the weirdest look and asked if Korean people really drink this...in America, we use Aloe for sunburn.  It just seemed creepy but I tried it.  The texture is a bit strange, rather thick and there are bits of aloe floating in the drink. BUT this actually tastes good.  It's sweet, like a less mild lime flavor. 

5. Corn tea

What's in it: tea made from dried and roasted corn kernals
Health benefits: relief from tiredness, reliever for abdominal swelling, vitamin E for the skin, good source of Iron, reducing high blood pressure, relieves tiredness and stress. Corn tea is also promoted to give the face the "V-line" ...mmm yeah, I don't buy it.  Bone structure isn't something you can change by drinking.



Caitlin's rating: Also tried not to give my student a weird face when he brought me this. The taste is not bad.. a good mild flavor for tea. But I just cannot get over the "liquid butter popcorn" smell.

5. Pine bud drink


What's in it: I couldn't find it...but yes, boiled pine is one of the ingrediants
Health benefits: again, couldn't find...but Koreans will definitely say "It's good for your health..."
Caitlin's rating: I was discussing Chuseok with my student and I asked him if there were any special foods for this Korean holiday.  He told me yes, rice cakes made from pine.  What?? I was sure he was pronouncing this incorrectly.  Nope, pine trees.  And not only rice cakes, but there was a beverage too. This drink got the biggest "Are you freaking crazy you crazy Korean people make a drink out of this??!!" look out of all the weird drinks.  But I'm keeping to my word and advice from my friend, "Try everyone involving food at least once."  To sum up the taste: Smells like household cleaner.  Tastes a little better than it sounds. Flavor is similar to Aloe juice?? But ohhhhhhh the smell...

And I am still awaiting to be presented with a drink made from beans because Koreans make everything out of beans... a yummy spicy sauce, an icy dessert, and yes, even popsicles...So bean soda, I'm waiting...but not excited.

Korean foodie diary: blowfish

One of my favorite new foods.
I'm not a seafood fan but blowfish is a really fresh tasting white fish with a mild but flavorful taste. My favorite way of eating it is tempura style, shown in the second picture.

BFS Part V: An Open Door

On Friday, I got a Kakao Talk message from my student.  He’s coming back to Daegu from his business trip.  He asked me if he could see me on Sunday night when he comes back to Gumi.
Whenever my student asks if he can see me, I know he has news.
And I’ve trained my heart, since age 18, to always anticipate bad news.  Not necessarily bad news.  Just news that I expect.
My student picks me up and suggests we go get a cup of tea so we head to Cafe Bene.  We get tea, chat about his business trip, our English class, things that have been going on for the past three weeks.  And then we finally get to that point in the conversation.
“I have news.  But I’m sorry, it’s not good news.”
My students hands are shaking, his eyes look a little teary, he sometimes covers his mouth with his hands as if he can’t breathe as he tells me the news.
The police called him.  They finished the search.
The police said my birth mother was shocked.  She couldn’t speak for several minutes.  They said she felt sorry but because of her situation, she couldn’t meet me.
My student searched my face for a look of disappointment, sadness.  I just sat there with a blank expression.
I’m just hearing what I expected to hear.  It hurt me more when my grandmother changed her mind about meeting me because I felt like some unwanted annoyance.  But deep in my heart, I can really trust that my birthmother wants to meet me but she just can’t.
I ask my student more questions about the police’s visit with my birthmother - did they say where she lived, did she say anything else, did they give her any information about me?  But the Korea police are strict and follow the rules.  They can’t tell us anything else.
From my student’s face, I can tell he’s hurting for me.  Someone who only has a connection with me for just 5 months, who only has the need to be in a student-teacher kind of relationship, is truly hurting for me.  Although it’s my biased opinion - this kind of love and compassion can only come from someone who truly knows God’s love.  I never asked my student to help me.  He voluntarily did it.  He took the initiative to call and call people, to e-mail, to go to the police after our first attempt failed.  I could tell he truly just wanted to see a girl reunite with her biological family members.
Really, the only thing I truly wanted out of this birth family search is for my birth mother to know I was alive and well and at best, to see a picture of her.  I think I’ve gotten so much more.  I’ll get to meet my Wae-halmauni and ask her any questions about my birthmother that I want.  I found out I have a sister and two more brothers.  My birthmother knows I’m alive, I’m in Korea and I want to meet her.
I used to think that when I would hear my birthmother give me her straight answer, be it yes or no, that I would find complacency in hearing her answer, that it would give some sense of closure.  I thought I’d just be satisfied to be done with the search and know the outcome.
Instead, it’s opened up a door.  My birthmother knows I want to meet her.  Just because she says no, doesn’t mean her answer will always be no.  Who knows - one year, five, ten, 50 years down the road, her answer could change.  I really think I, with the help of my student, accomplished so much.  We opened up this door that my birthmother can choose to go through at any point. She knows that I’m there, waiting...

BFS Part III: Love it Letting Go

I was so excited for this week.  The social worker that was assigned to my case was done with vacation.  At any time, I should be getting an e-mail arranging my visit with my biological grandma.  It was going to be the best week ever.

Then I got to my afternoon class and the student that has been helping was the only one who showed up that day so we decided to call the social worker.  She was going on lunch break and said she would call my student after 1pm.  After my class, I went to use the computer during my break and got a call from my student.  He told me that because of privacy issues, I would only be able to meet my grandma at the agency with my social worker and he was really sorry that he couldn't come with me.  I said it was okay, as long as I could meet my grandma in any way, I was happy.  Then a bit later, my student called again and asked to see me.  I said I was at Hamaum Plaza so he met me there.  And it was really sweet because he just wanted to make sure I was okay because his heart was hurting for me and felt so bad he couldn't help me much further than making phone calls.  I told him he has already done so much and I was really thankful for all of his help.

My next class was cancelled so I decided I had time to send Hyunwoo my letter to my birthmom to translate, just in case my grandma would agree to deliver it to her.  As I was typing, my student texted me again, asking to call when I'm done with class.  I told him my class was cancelled so call anytime.  He asked to meet me in our classroom.

And I got the worst feeling.  Because something simple wouldn't require my student to take time out of his work time to tell me something.  But still, maybe it was easier to explain the meeting time with my grandma in person.  When I met my student, he asked if he could buy me something to drink (a soda FYI!!) and again, I had a bad feeling.

We sat down, my student asked how my day was, made some jokes, some small talk...and then he said he had bad news.  I knew what he was going to say without him even saying it so I just focused "Caitlin, do not cry at work.  Do not cry in front of your student.  You've already had good fortune to hear your birthmom is a real person.  You don't even have any need to cry." And I listened to his words with an empty heart.  And I saw my happy visions of meeting my grandma, seeing my birthmother's pictures, hearing about her life and my siblings go out the window.  And my memory of being 18 years old, reading the letter from the adoption travel agency with my mom about how Korean birthmothers can face serious social and marital issues when they have a baby out of wedlock and realizing how selfish it could be for me to search for her came flooding back. 

In the week, my grandma changed her mind.  She was afraid for her daughter's privacy and family.  Because the only two people in my biological family who know I exist is just my birthmother and grandma. My birthmother has already gone through a divorce and there is no reason for her to risk another one because of meeting me. And my student said most of all, they may feel sorry to me because they could not raise me.

How did I feel?  I was frustrated because there are so many privacy precautions the agency takes that meeting my grandma would really not be a problem.  I was sad that I had raised my expectations so much that I anticipated reuniting with my grandma.  My heart really hurt because all I really want is to see a picture of my birthmother and it's not even possible.  And I felt really sorry to my mom, that she is not in a marriage where she cannot share something that she had no fault in with her husband.  And I was so, so thankful that I am surrounded by family, friends and a boyfriend who I am able to share intimate things about my life and know they will never judge or condemn me for them. And lastly, I just felt empty.  I didn't want to teach and pretend to be happy and funny and entertaining.  I just wanted to zone out.  And I wanted to hug my parents.

But at that moment, I felt so lucky that I was a teacher to students and other students who care so much about their teacher to go out of their way and help them like my student was doing for me.  And when I had no one else to hug, he was there for me.  I could just tell from the empathy and care on my student's face that he genuinely hurt with me too.  This emotion from another person is so rare and I felt a little less alone because of my student.  How awesome is my job that I am surrounded by people like this?  I am so, so blessed.

Even when I felt like crawling into a hole, crying, listening to sappy music, I still have to teach and move on.  Thank God for technology that allowed me to call my boyfriend right away in America who is so awesomely optimistic that all I can do is smile and laugh.  Thank God for Skype and being able to see my parents' faces and talk with them.  Thank God for free texting via Wi-fi so my best friends are just a send button away.

In my mind, I know there is still 10 months for my grandma to change her mind.  There is still a chance that she will read my letter.  There is some chance my birthmother senses I am looking for her.  But even though I will send a letter and pray so earnestly that they might change their mind, my heart knows I need to let it go.  I know my birthmother is alive.  They know I am living well.  It's enough.  I can't hope for any other result.  I can only hope that we live our separate lives happily.

For those of you who I didn't contact outside of this blog, I'm truly sorry.  I love being able to openly talk about my adoption story but this whole situation really, really hurts.  I honestly don't like talking about losing the chance to meet my birth family...but the more I can raise awareness about adoption issues, the more I hope the stigma of adoption decreases.

To adoptees, birth parents, family and friends of these people - even though this situation is so painful, I don't regret it at all.  I know many adoptees are happy to never search.  But if you were once a little girl or boy who had a dream to know what parent they look like or an adult who simply wants to thank the people who gave you birth, I encourage you to pursue your search.  Even if the way you find closure is painful, it is still closure.  I would have regretted forever if I was in Korea this whole year and never searched.  Every tear I'm crying, every hurt I'm experiencing far, far outweighs the regret and remorse of living forever with the question, "What if?"

Jenga!

I've started going to a language exchange in Daegu at Buy the Book Cafe and I met some really great friends.  This week, we played Jenga but it was truth or dare Jenga!! ooohhh!  My friend Allen got the block that said "Kiss the person on your left" - which luckily for me, it was the left because I was on his right side.  But Youngmo...he was on Allen's left...

Koreans also play Jenga a little differently....crazy stacking techniques, I tell ya.